what happened with the poem

Daniel wanted to know about this so I dedicate this post to him at at time when I was feeling especially downcast (so often lately) I received a lovely letter from the poetry editor of a magazine (not especially known for literature but still for fine writing and with national distribution) she was so gracious and encouraging about all the poems I sent and I was so pleased and then I asked her if it was perhaps possible to get advance payment since money here has been soooo tight and the two poems she selected weren’t due to appear until Summer 2010 now this is not unusual to commit so far in the future and though I wasn’t exactly stoked about getting my money in advance and sure enough she said they just couldn’t and that was okay because it was enough to just know you know so several weeks later a dear friend told me how she’d enjoyed my poem that she’d seen in the magazine so I wrote my friend and she confirmed that yes they had indeed published it early and so I was so pleased but now here comes the weird part she said if you don’t have the check and contributor’s copies already you really should soon so I was walking on air but then they didn’t show and didn’t show and didn’t show and when I wrote her back she said she’d look into it and she was sorry they’d gotten my name wrong in the table of contents so I said okay thanks and so I waited some more and now I’m phoning book stores all over Dallas and none of them carry this magazine and while it IS a liberal newsmagazine out of Texas it’s extremely intelligent and clever and articulate and I used to work in bookstores so I know it used to be available everywhere so now I’m calling the libraries all over Dallas and it’s the same thing so now I’n REALLY feeling paranoid and I happen to know a very very evil woman who hurt me in the past completely through ¬†chicanery and cunning so now I’m wondering if somehow x is behind all this because she’s capable of intensely despicable behavior and finally I find one library in Plano that has a copy so I drive out there and make two photocopies which eases my mind just a little bit I mean at least NOW I know it’s really been published (and I spot a line-break I could fix) and I still haven’t heard back from my friend the poetry editor so now I write to the main editor and he tells me the check is in the mail (hehe) so he sounds sincere and sure enough three days later I get the check for 50 dollars and write my poetry editor friend to let her know then another friend mails me her copy to tide me over then two weeks later I get like 6 copies from the magazine then next after that my friend tells me she’ll be in Dallas because her mother broke her arm and needs help with errands so could she stop by for a moment and I said sure so I get up early to bathe before she arrives (not easy) and she arrives and hugs me three times and says she saw me in a dream the night before and I look just like her dream and she has brought me packets of tea and soup and books of poetry and literary journals including a copy of ploughshares with two of her poems in it and still warm banana bread and at least ten copies of the magazine and yes I’m thinking it was grace

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